'My Day' by The Lodger

Today I didn't want to go out.....I was quite happy in bed even though my bottom was giving off some rather nasty smells....NO going out could wait.....until 'she' came upstairs and harnessed me to the elastic lead thing and wrestled me out from under the bed.....WELL..now I'm in a really grumpy mood I can tell you.....

......so we go on our usual walk...well actually I don't walk because I'm soooooo grumpy....I get dragged!!!! The indignity of it.... all I wanted was a lie in for goodness sake!!!...I can tell from her 'voice that now 'shes' getting grumpy...I know, I know, you have to get to work...you have to get dressed because I know that under that sweatshirt you still have your PJ's on....Ha!!! One day you will meet someone who you'd rather not see with you PJ's on with wellies and no make-up.....MAY THAT DAY COME SOON!!!!

When we get back from what seems like a walk that took hours........huff.......I just get nicely settled when I hear with my total superior ears, next doors back door opening......oh well I must get up and bark at that........

Then.....I hear Bertie and Ralph being let out in their garden....and ..oh well I must get up and bark at them or they may think I'm not better than them......'she' shouts at me a LOT!!!!...I never quite understood what this 'B quiet' means?????.......

Then that slippy..snappy, noise that comes from the porch almost every day happens....white things fall to the floor and annoy the ***** out of me.....so I bark some more........suddenly the radio voice thing goes on very loud..........LOOK I'm trying to get some sleep here Mrs!!!!

Then....oh no!!.....the lead goes back on....what is THIS???...Excuse me but now you're supposed to go to work and I sleep for four hours curled up on the nest I make out of your lovely white bedspread....come on....you know the rules.....

No! No! not the car....its hot......I'm tired......you know I never sleep in the car....you know there is something underneath that follows us all the way to ........everywhere..........well just a little way then.....oh no..its further than that....not the vets?....not the vets.....not the kennels? oh no not the kennels PLEASE!!!!!!...........are we there yet? are we? no really are we???

.....at last she lets me out of the car and turns off that noise 'she' has been singing to for the last.....ages....couldn't 'she' hear me asking to be let out...Oh boy do I need a sleep!!!!

....but wait...I know where I am...there's the beech hedge I always pee up.....the doors opening OH...that really lovely lady who always has treats....the garden with the children next door..yeah!! .......and the birds..... and that silly squirrel that walks the fence..he's so dumb I'll get him one day!!!...

......what 'she' shouting....

'B quiet'!...

No way!!!