Sunday, 4 December 2011

Canteen Romance

This is todays Magpie Tales prompt picture from Tess, i found it a hugely sad picture , isolating and lonely,


Canteen Romance

you may feel my eyes
upon the back of your neck
while you watch your lunch
diminish

overcome with loneliness
a tear 
caught with my tongue 
my only sustenance

i am the pitied
the next door nudge
all  eyes are cast down
with knowledge ignored.

17 comments:

  1. You have indeed caught the isolation at least of those who would rather not be.

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  2. This felt very isolating and sad to me too. I like what you wrote--it's heartbreaking...

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  3. i am the pitied
    the next door nudge
    all eyes are cast down
    with knowledge ignored.

    one of my favorite today so far.
    poetic, beautiful, and striking imagery.

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  4. You have captured the mood of this piece so well.

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  5. I love the line

    The next door nudge

    Thank you Kay for another haunting and thought provoking piece. xxx

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  6. loneliness in a crowd - perfectly captured

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  7. Very true, quite impersonal setting!

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  8. Wonderful lines here... Love it!

    JJRod'z

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  9. You made one trickling tear come to life ... well done!

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  10. a tear caught with my tongue my only sustenance...nice emotion in that ...great flow and love that last stanza

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  11. Surely each one caught in his own prison. Nicely done!

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  12. You did the loneliness of this so well..

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  13. Ouch unfortunatley for me I felt like that once when I was very young tender...you have captured this brilliantly...
    Please send me your address xxxxx
    Hugs Lynn xxxx

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  14. Oh, you hit it out of the ballpark with this one!

    ...I am the pitied
    the next door nudge...

    Wow.

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  15. thank you, thank you , thank you for all your wonderful comments...it means so much...xx kay

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  16. "...a tear
    caught with my tongue
    my only sustenance..." Beautiful.

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