Sunday, 15 July 2012

smoke haze


painting by Jack Vettriano

the sky is turning from pale silver to pewter
shadows lost to a gentle summer drizzle
the street below is steady
as i wait for you,


the old lady from the brownstone across the way
walks a dirty white terrier, ragged at the edges
a scarlet scarf tied tight under her chin
head set into the rain


i watch for you
at the end of the road
your familiar figure striding closer to me
my cigarette smoke curls
lazily against my impatience


i wish i could turn away until the bell rings shrill
tidy away the debris of my day
dishes lay unwashed
flowers decaying in the vase 
all await my touch
my neglect is apparent

however i stand stock still
almost afraid to blink 
my vision trained at the spot at the roads turn
i will smoke one more and you will be here
.
.
.
i will smoke one more and you will be here
.
.
.
i will smoke one more and you will be here
.
.
.


i turn away dead butts and flowers in the bin.


This is my piece for the mag over at Tess's



22 comments:

  1. Evocative view from the window...chilling last line...nice write Kay...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice capture of the senses and anticipation of waiting...and waiting

    Lovely share

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  3. whoa. i can so relate to being uber-focused on my lover's arrival that plant are left untended,
    newspapers strewn across the room
    and open cd's laugh.

    brings back painful and silly
    memories of myself.

    great writing capture many a girl's
    one-track-mind or so-in-love as we
    like to often pretend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My cigarette smoke curls. Now this is something intriguing. Nice tail of wait and grief.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Left alone, hung out to dry. Such a sad ending, Kay. I love the way she tries to 'will' him to show up. Thank you for sharing this touching tale. =D

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is such a vivid write ... beautifully done!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Not a good place to be, but I've been there... so sad.

    ReplyDelete
  8. WOW!!! Riveting.

    Thanks for stopping by to read mine.

    ReplyDelete
  9. undeterred love...boderline obsession but love nonetheless...

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. ugh the repetition in the end of this...just one more...she clings to hope....i like the phrase the debris of the day as well....

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Kay: We think alike; same theme~!!! Particularly love the way you incorporate nature in your poem. A wonderful fresh feeling in a natural progression of events, like a movie.

    ReplyDelete
  12. "i will smoke one more and you will be here" - amazing thought !!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is a feeling we can all sympathise with; the angst of waiting and waiting whilst focussing too hard and neglecting the daily routine. Well captured.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I can feel the hurt she feels while she waits.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You definitely caught me up in this one...and that repetition with the "I will smoke one more and you will be here"...

    The ending is right on, too.

    =)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I could feel the dying of hope as her flowers and cigarettes reflect the heart
    so nice to meet you and read your work
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Really well done! The repetition is excellent.

    ReplyDelete
  18. wow!! thank you all so much for your comments.....i have no confidence were my writing is concerned so you all make me feel wonderful...xxx

    ReplyDelete
  19. I especially enjoyed this, actually had to go back and read it again...such a feeling of place...very nice!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting....don't be shy...say hello!!